My boys just walked out the door for the first day of the new school year. I am really sad about it. It almost feels like the day they each started for the first time. My oldest boy starts high school today. I never thought it would make me cry, but it is. Soon it will be time for him to become a man and be on his own. That's only part of it, I had a lot of trouble during my high school years and he reminds me so much of myself. I can only hope for now that he has a better experience than I did. I don't think my parents had any idea just how hard it was for me. I am going to do my best to advocate for my child as well as to teach him to be his own advocate. It'll be better for him.
Now the other boy, on the other hand. He's starting seventh grade. I admire him because he's not driven by what other people might think or say. He's popular and funny. He has the attention span of a flea, but it's ok. He drives his poor teachers absolutely batty. I only hope that we can contain his energy long enough to get through his homework. The boys are two totally different animals. I think sometimes that the things about each of them that makes me craziest are the things I love the most.
For our last summer hurrah yesterday, we went to the beach. The boys also have a three and a half year old sister. It was fabulous to watch them able to make sand castles and sift for shells. Having her around allows them to let down their "cool" for a bit. Especially that older boy of mine. He tends to be painfully cool. He's my kid that worries about what people will say or think. He's like I was as a kid, I would've rather died than be embarrassed. The problem was that everything was embarrassing for me. I was twenty-five years old before I realized if people were looking at me that closely, maybe it was their problem. Kids are so quick to point out flaws, mistakes, or laugh for hours at an accident that you'd rather forget. It's the nature of the beast I guess. It makes them forget how worried they are about their own selves for a few minutes.